81. Four Leaf Clover

A person finds a four leaf clover.  He feels sure that it will bring him good luck. Another person runs into him.  They accuse each other of running into each other. They start hitting each other.  A policeman comes along, the other guy accuses the lucky person.  The lucky person is hauled off to jail.  The lucky person reappears, disgruntled and unhappy.  Garbage is dumped on him as he walks along and gets fined by a policeman for littering.  The lucky man throws away the four leaf clover.  Another finds it.  The former lucky man comes back on stage.  The person who found the four leaf runs on stage saying he just won a million dollars and has good luck since he found it.  The former lucky man slumps down, groans, and begins to cry.

The narrator narrates, everyone else is volunteers.

"I need eleven volunteers for this skit."
"This skit is called the Four Seasons.  You three are trees.  You three are leaves in trees, get up in the trees.  You're poison ivy, cling to the roots of one of the trees. You're tree's blood, you run through the trees.  You two are birds, flit from tree to tree and sing.  And you're the babbling brook.  You have to babble." "Babble babble babble babble ..." 

"In the spring, the leaves come out on the trees.  The birds flit from tree to tree."
"In the summer, the leaves open up and the sun shines down on the forest.  The birds form flocks"
"In the fall, the leaves drop from the trees.  The birds fly away south."
"In the winter, the brook freezes and stops babbling.  All seems still in the forest.
But beneath it all there is still life.  Look! The sap is still running!"

"Here in my hand is Fred the Trained Flea.  Fred will perform for you some amazing feats.  Watch closely."
"Fred, do jumping jacks! Very good! Cheer, everyone!"
"Fred, do a somersault!"
"Fred, do a high jump!" Watch him go way up, then back down.
"Now Fred will do a long jump.  I need a volunteer to catch Fred." Pick a scoutmaster, or someone in authority.
"Fred, do a long jump!" Watch Fred jump to the volunteer "Oh! He seems to have jumped into your hair!"
Walk over to the volunteer, start picking through their hair.  "Here we are ..  no, that's not Fred." toss the flea over your shoulder "Ah! No, that's not Fred." "That's not Fred." "Fred, are you in there?" "That's not Fred either." "Boy, there's a lot of fleas in here." "Fred? Fred?" ...

The scene is a general store, with the Storekeeper behind the counter.  The counter is easily represented by a long table with a few items piled on it. Behind the Storekeeper is a curtain, which conceals another Scout, the Storekeeper's Son.  He has a full change of clothes with him.

The Skit

The Storekeeper introduces himself.  He explains that this is his store and his Son helps him to run it.  He is very proud of how hard he works to satisfy every customer, no matter what the customer wants.

A customer enters, walks up to the counter, and asks for a hat.  The Storekeeper turns and calls out, "Hey Son, I need a hat."  The curtain moves, and a hand reaches through with a hat.  The customer admires it, and they agree on a price.  The customer pays, puts on the hat, and walks out acting pleased. Other customers repeat the process for a jacket, a shirt, shoes, socks, and a pair of pants.  Each time, there is more movement of the curtain, and a longer delay before the clothing is handed through the curtain.  There are sounds of grumbling, and the Storekeeper reminds his son about their commitment to sell whatever the customer needs.

The last customer walks in hesitantly and asks in embarrassed tones for underwear.  The Storekeeper does not hear him, and makes him repeat it until everybody can hear clearly.  Finally he says, "Oh of course.  Underwear!  Son, we need some underwear." Nothing happens. The Storekeeper repeats his request several times, each time emphasizing the word, "Underwear."  There is no answer.  He apologizes to his customer for his lazy son, and says he will get the underwear himself.  He stomps off behind the curtain. The curtain shakes, and we hear, "No, Pa!  No, Pa! No!"  The Son runs through the curtain and across the stage wearing only underpants.

A Scout walks out from backstage, stumbles, and falls on his face.  He struggles noisily to get up, but keeps his forehead on the floor.  He sometimes succeeds in getting into a position with his feet and his forehead on the floor, and his butt in the air.  He rotates in this position, keeping his forehead in one place.  He calls for help for help, repeating "My forehead is stuck!"  As he struggles, other Scouts walk casually past.  They ignore him, or look with curiosity, but they do not help.  Finally, a Scout comes running up and heaves the victim to his feet.  The victim is effusively grateful, but the rescuer just looks at his face.  He reaches out, plucks something from the victim's forehead, and pops it into his mouth.

"Thanks," he says, "I knew I'd lost my gum somewhere around here!"

Characters:  A Building Contractor, A Couple (if lady isn't available, changes can be made for one person)

Contractor (inside house):  Okay, we need a color for the wall in the living room. (walks to space that is living room).
Wife:  I like white.
Husband:  No, how about blue?
Wife:  How 'bout tan?
Husband:  Okay.
Contractor:  Okay...(writes down on paper) um..  wait just a second.  The contractor goes to the window looks out, he opens the window leans out and shouts, "Green side up!"
This repeats for two more rooms.  Each time after the Contractor says "Green Side Up", couple converses between themselves and are not sure about the sanity of the contractor.
After the last room:
Husband:  Mr.  (whatever you want his name to be), why do you keep yelling "Green Side Up!" outside the window?  We didn't order any green wall paper!?!
Contractor:  Oh.  I am sorry folks.  The Boy scout troop is being lead by the Scout Master and we just want to make sure the sod gets laid down right.--

Five guys sleeping in a tent, all in a row.  The patrol leader on one end, the little scout on the other.

The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the patrol leader.  "Hey!  Hey! I gotta go wee!"
"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds.
The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the patrol leader.  "Hey! Hey!  I gotta go wee!"
"Huh? Wha? Go back to sleep." The little scout crawls back over everyone and goes back to sleep for 5 seconds.
The little scout climbs over all the other sleeping scouts, who try to remain asleep, and shakes the patrol leader.  "Hey! Hey! I gotta go wee!"
"OK! OK!", says the patrol leader, "If you've gotta go, then go."
The little scout stands up and waves his hands in the air:  "Weee!!!!"

You need a furniture store salesman and a customer who knows what is happening.  Before the salesman can sell anything, he needs stock.  Call for volunteers from the audience:  four to lie down to make the rug; three to crouch as the couch; one or two chairs; a lamp; and most important, one good natured fellow to get down on all fours as the coffee table.  When all are ready, a customer enters and asks to see a couch.  The salesman shows him the furniture, extolling its high quality and low price.  He pays particular attention to the coffee table:  beautiful, sturdy, mark and mar-proof, etc.

The customer shows some interest.  The salesman pats and wiggles the coffee table to show how firm and steady it is, then picks up a cup (empty) and says something like, "See this cup of water? Pretend it's coffee.  When it sits on this table, you know it will never spill!" He places the cup between the shoulder blades of the coffee table and jiggles it gently.  "See!" The customer says he'll think about it and leaves.  The dejected salesman dismisses all the furniture except the coffee table and leaves.  The coffee table tries to figure out how he will get up without spilling what he thinks is a cup of water all over himself.  Cheer him on!

The scene is a living room with a radio playing.  A Scout is changing stations.

There is an announcement, read from off stage:  "We interrupt this station to bring you an important news bulletin.  A criminal known as the Land Shark has been seen on the streets of this town! He knocks on the doors of suspecting people, disguises his voice, and upon entrance, devours them leaving no traces.  If the Land Shark
shows up at your door, do not open it, and call the police immediately.  We now return you to our regularly scheduled broadcast."

Scout, turning off radio:  "I hope that Land Shark doesn't show up here."
Three loud knocks are heard.  "Who is it?"
Offstage:  "Pizza delivery"
Scout:  "Oh, great! Come on in!" He reaches offstage to open the door.  Hands reach out and pull him off with a loud growl.  Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on another Scout:  "I've heard so many rumors about that Land Shark.  I'm curious." (Three loud knocks.) "Who is it?"
Offstage:  "Luke Paterson from Metropolitan Life."
Scout:  "What do you want?"
Offstage:  "I need to review your policy.  Your never know when something might happen!"
Scout:  "Come in." Opens door.  Loud growl.  Grabbed and pulled offstage.  Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on an older Scout.  He hears three knocks.  "Who is it?"
Offstage:  "Pharmacy delivery."
Scout:  "I didn't order any medicine."
Offstage:  "Candygram."
Scout:  "From whom?"
Offstage:  "Plumber."
Scout:  "My pipes are fine! Say, I know who this is.  It's that nasty Land Shark!"
Offstage, in a small voice:  "I'm only a guppy, sir."
Scout:  "Oh, all right.  Come in, then." Opens the door and is pulled offstage.  More
growls.  Curtain closes.
Curtain opens on an old, sharp Scout.  He hears three knocks.  "Who is it?"
Offstage:  "Boy Scout Troop 144.  Would you like to buy some fertilizer, sir?" Scout, looks at the audience and smiles knowingly:  "Just a minute." He gets a large stick and prepares to hit the Shark.  "Come in." He swings the stick offstage.  There is a loud thump.  A very young Scout in full uniform stumbles onto the stage and dramatically falls, face first.

This is an old, old vaudeville stunt.  It depends on the interaction between the players and the crowd.  Overacting and showing off should be encouraged.  The only prop needed is a length of rubber tubing, such as a piece of old bicycle inner tube. The skit should be practiced, both for the greatest effect and for the protection of the Scout, who must know how to absorb the blow.  The Scout turns his back to the Master of Ceremonies.  He bends partly forward, and pulls the tubing over his shoulder.  When the tubing is released, he falls forward and rolls toward the opposite shoulder.  If he holds the tube properly, it will fly over his shoulder with a 'Snap!'  He will not be hurt unless he takes the blow squarely.  The Master of Ceremonies should know what is going to happen and how he should act, but he does not have to know when he will receive his long-distance phone call.

The Skit

The Master of Ceremonies is presiding over a Court of Honor or a campfire.  A Scout runs onto the stage and interrupts him dramatically, " I have a long distance telephone call for you!" The Scout has a length of rubber tubing.  He hands one end to the MC, explaining that this is the phone line.  "I'll get the line straightened out and connect you.  When I say 'Ring-Ring', you hold it up to your ear and say 'Let me have it', and you'll get your call."

The MC looks skeptical, looks at the Scout, then at the tube, then at the Scout again and finally agrees.  The Scout stretches the line and says, "Ring- Ring".  The MC looks at the audience, then at the Scout, and plays dumb.  "What was I supposed to say?"

The Scout walks back and repeats his instructions very patiently.  He rehearses the MC, making him repeat the lines.  They try again.  The Scout stretches the line further than before.  He says, "Ring-Ring".  The MC forgets again.

The Scout goes through it all again.  This time he gets the audience to help by saying the key phrase, "Let me have it!"  With a big grin for the audience, he repeats this several times. This time he stretches the tube to its limits, turning his back to the MC, bending over, and holding the tube over his shoulder.  He looks at the audience.  "Ready?"

"Ready!"  "Ring-Ring."

The MC looks at the audience and grins.  Now he understands.  "Wait.  What am I supposed to say?"

The Scout frowns at the audience, loses his temper, and calls out, "Let Me Have It!"  The MC lets go.

Props:  Two sheets of paper.

Scott:  (Enters)  Gee, it's always nice to get a letter from home when you're at camp.
Robin:  (Enters) Hey, look, I got a letter from my Mom.
Scott:  Me too.  Listen, my Mom says she's writing this letter slowly, because she knows I can't read fast.
Robin:  Mine says I won't know the house when I come home..  They've moved !
Scott:  Oh, my Dad has a new job with 500 men under him.  He's cutting the grass at the cemetery.
Robin:  Our neighbors started keeping pigs.  Mom got wind of it this morning.
Scott:  Oh, my goodness.  My little brother came home from school crying because all the  other boys had new clothes and we can't afford any for him.  Mom says she got him a new hat and lets him stand in the window.
Robin:  There was a washing machine in the new house.  But my Mom put four shirts in it, pulled the handle and they disappeared.  Guess it doesn't work right.
Scott:  My Mom had her appendix out and a dishwasher put in.  And, oh, my sister had a baby this morning.  Mom doesn't know if I'm an Aunt or and Uncle, because she doesn't know yet if it's a boy or a girl.
Robin:  Oh, dear, there's a P.S.  It says, I was going to send you $ 10.00, but I had already sealed the envelope.
Scott:  Well, it's nice to know things are normal at home.
Robin:  Yep.  (Both exit)

(With this skit it is possible to put each boy's script on a sheet of paper, and they can read it out, as though they were reading the letter.  They should rehearse, of course, to make it sound natural.)

The Motorcycle Dealer introduces himself and his shop.  He stocks many types of motorcycles, and they are all in excellent condition.  In fact, he will demonstrate how good they are by making a sale to the next customer who walks in the door. First, of course, he needs some volunteers from the audience.  Three are selected, and each is briefed quickly as he comes to the front.  (Choose scapegoats who have characteristics similar to the motorcycle they will represent.) The first is to go slowly when started.  The second will go very fast, almost losing its rider.  The third should not go anywhere.  They are lined up on their hands and knees facing the crowd.  "Now," says the Dealer, "You can see what fine motorcycles I have." A Scout walks in and asks if he has any motorcycles for sale.  Of course, the Dealer is eager to show his stock.

This first one is a Smith (use the victim's name).  It's only 200 cc's, but a nice little machine.  The Dealer makes his sales pitch and invites the Buyer to go for a ride.  The Buyer straddles the Smith, raises himself up and mimics using the kick starter.  The Buyer makes motorcycle noises, not very energetically.  He 'rides' (actually straddles and walks) the Smith around in a slow circle, returning to the starting point.  "That's too slow," says the Buyer, "Do you have anything more powerful?" The next motorcycle is a 1000 cc Yablonski.  Again the Buyer climbs aboard and
operates the kick starter.  The Yablonski roars to life and races around in a circle. The Buyer can barely hold on.  "That's too fast! I could kill myself on that one!" The Dealer says he thinks he has just the right one, a Jones that he recently received on trade-in.  It's in good condition and has about the right power.  The Buyer climbs on and tries to start.  He makes sputtering noises.  After several trials, he complains that something just isn't right because the Jones won't start.  He gets off and stands looking at the motorcycle.

The Dealer yells angrily to Joe, who is offstage, "Joe!  I thought I told you to put gas in the Jones!"

Joe replies, "Sorry Boss! I'll do it right now!" Joe enters quickly with a bucket or gas can and pours water onto the rear end of the Jones.

A scout is a door to door salesman, selling Musical Toilet Seats:  If you have some cardboard make props like toilet seats.  Salesman approaches each home knocks on the door and sells the seat:

Salesman:  "Good morning sir, I like to show you the newest thing in electronic technology.  My company has developed the new musical toilet seat.  Would you be interested in buying this modern day marvel?" (ham this up, plead beg, etc.  be a door to door salesman) 

Customer 1:  "Do you have one that plays Dixie?"

Customer 2 asked for "Eat the Rich" .  

Customer 3 asked for "Star Spangled Banner"  

Salesman, I sure do, Here it is, I hope you like it.  I'll come back tomorrow to make sure you are satisfied." The next day the Salesman goes back and asked of each customer:  How did you like the musical toilet seat.?  

Customer 1:  "It was great, it played Dixie and I sat there with a bucket of fried chicken enjoying each note.

  Customer 2:  "It was great. I  listened and read a copy of the Rolling Stone magazine." 

Customer 3:  "I hated it, It just did not work out.

Salesman responds to Customer 3:  "we have never had an unsatisfied customer, what went wrong?  

Customer 3:  " It's that music.  "Every time I sit down on the toilet, it starts playing the Star Spangled Banner and I have to stand up again!"

This is set in the western era in the 1800's.  Characters: An Out Law, Partner, swinging doors(that squeak when opened), One person playing Wife of the Out Law, the Son of the Out Law, Camera person, Very Outgoing
Director with German accent.

ANY MISSPELLINGS ARE INTENTIONAL, THIS IS HOW IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE PRONOUNCED

Director:  Pleses (Places), Pleses, evedybody.  Now do we haave thees down? (Be creative)
(Every one nods)
Director:  Aaalrright aand aaction.
Out Law:  Say there pardner, got a match.
Pardner:  Yep.
Out Law:  Can I have it.
Pardner:  Nope.
Out Law:  I think I'm gonna take it, what are YOU gonna do about it.
Pardner:  I'ma gonna shootcha.  (quickly pulls out gun and fires)
Out Law:  (Falls to ground)
Son:  Daddy, daddy.  (Huddling over Out Law)
Wife:  OH! MY POOR HUSBAND!(Huddling over Out Law)
Director:  (in a perterbed and angry voice) Cuuuuuuuuuuut! Thaat was terrible, were do we get these aactors.  Let's do it again, do eet slowwwwer / faaster / like an opra.(CHANGE WORDING AROUND EACH TIME, it will sound repetitive if you don't)
(look of question in faces)
(repeat slower)
(repeat really fast)
(repeat like opra)
The End

This skit is hilarious, you can have fun doing it and adding your own episodes onto it.

"I am the King.  Bring me my raisins!"
First squire, "Here are raisins, sire, from the hills of California!"
"Those raisins are not fit for peasants! Bring me my raisins!"

Second squire, "Here are raisins, sire, from the vineyards of France!"
The King, "They are hardly worth sneezing at.  Bring me my raisins!"

Third squire ,"These raisins, sire, were hand-picked with tweezers by Benedictine Monks in Germany! "
The King, "These are the worst yet!  Bring me my royal raisin supplier!"

Two guys drag in the royal raisin supplier
The King, "Why have you not brought me my raisins?"
Royal raisin supplier, "My rabbit died!"

This skit requires little preparation and no props, and has only two speaking parts. It can use a cast of hundreds, and it is full of blood, gore, and dead bodies.  That makes it perfect for Cub Scouts and campfires.

Preparation
The Wizard and the lone Scout need to rehearse their lines, and everybody should practice a few times.  The practice is as much fun as the skit.  Encourage all participants to ham it up.  The Wizard should wear a long bathrobe.

The Skit
A lone Scout rushes onto the stage and screams that the enemy is coming.  He has no weapons to fight with!  What should he do?  "I know.  I'll have to ask the Wizard.  It's my only chance to save humanity from the terrible enemy."
The Wizard enters the stage, and the Scout rushes to him begging for help.  The Wizard tells him not to panic, and hands him a secret invisible sword.  The Wizard explains the sword, and tells him to say, "Stabety Stab!" when he uses it.  The Wizard assures the Scout that this magic sword will protect him. The Wizard retires to a quiet corner of the stage. The Scout is delighted.  He waves the sword around, and tells everybody about it.  He boasts about what he will do with it.  He moves to one end of the stage. Several enemy soldiers sneak onto the other side of the stage, saying, "There he is" and "Let's get him." The Scout panics as they approach, worries aloud about what to do, and finally remembers to use the magic sword.  Yelling "Stabety Stab!" over and over, he kills all of the enemy in a mighty battle.  He is very proud of himself, and boasts of his ability. More enemy soldiers begin to enter.  The Scout starts forward, yelling "Stabety Stab!"  but the enemy keeps on coming.  The Scout rushes back to the Wizard for
more help.  The Wizard gives him an invisible gun, telling him to yell, "Bangety Bang!" Again the Scout boasts about his weapon, goes into battle, and kills all the enemy.  Again he boasts that he can defeat any enemy with the Wizard's magic weapons. The situation is repeated, and the Scout tries "Bangety Bang!" and "Stabety Stab!"
without success.  This time the Wizard gives him a magic laser, for which the Scout yells, "Zapety Zap!"  Again he kills all the enemy and boasts.  The Wizard quietly disappears. A single enemy soldier enters the stage.  He is the biggest Scout in camp.  He creeps slowly forward, as our Scout boasts about how easily he can defeat the
enemy.  The enemy soldier ignores the "Stabety Stab!", "Bangety Bang!", and "Zapety Zap!", as the Scout tries them several times.  The Scout looks desperately for the Wizard. The enemy moves faster across the stage.  As he knocks the Scout down and runs over him, he yells, "Tankety Tank! Tankety Tank!"

The man leads his donkey around the campfire.  "Water! Water!" cries the donkey with a raspy voice.
"Patience, jackass, patience" says the man.
The man leads his donkey around the campfire.  "Water! Water!" cries the donkey with a raspy voice.
"Patience, jackass, patience" says the man.
The man leads his donkey around the campfire.  "Water! Water!" cries the donkey with a raspy voice.
"Patience, jackass, patience" says the man.
The man leads his donkey around the campfire.  "Water! Water!" cries the donkey with a raspy voice.
"Patience, jackass, patience" says the man.
And they keep walking in circles around the campfire and repeating this (about 5 times) until someone in the audience yells, "Hey, when are you going to get to the punch line???"  (Set this person up ahead of time to yell this)
The man yells back "Patience, jackass, patience!!"

This is performed on a stage.  Hang a large map, or a sheet with some outlines drawn on it, across the back of the stage.  Since the skit involves water, it is a good idea to use a waterproof ground cloth to protect the stage.
Plan the skit, assemble the materials, and assign responsibilities ahead of time. Everybody except the Scapegoat knows what will happen.  Let the Scouts decide what kind of weather to use, and what props are needed to represent it.

The Skit
The Weather Man stands in front of the map, and presents a parody of the television evening news report.  He reads from a script in his hand.  As he announces each kind of weather, it appears, aimed straight at him from off-stage. He announces that the South will have wind.  The backdrop shakes and a large fan blows the papers in his hand. The Weather Man reports that there will be snow in the North.  White confetti drops from the sky, or over the map.  He reports hail in the Midwest, and small white objects pelt him.  (Plastic packing makes good hail.)
Each time the weather reacts to his report, the Weather Man acts more scared. Finally, he turns the page, stops, and protests that he can't do this any more.  He needs a brave person to read the last forecast for him, and asks for a volunteer from the audience.  With the help of the audience, the 'volunteer' is selected and pushed forward. The Scapegoat is handed the script, and reads, "And tomorrow this area will have heavy rains." Instantly, he is hit by a bucket of water from offstage.

Variation
The Weather Man and the Scapegoat will clearly expect something.  In fact, the Weather Man will usually have a hard time hiding his anticipation.  Without warning him about the actual outcome, get him wet instead of the Scapegoat.

One boy plays sergeant and the rest line up in a row facing the audience.  The sergeant tells them to come to attention for inspection.  The last boy in line sneezes. The sergeant asks who sneezed and doesn't get an answer.  He asks the man who sneezed to step forward in a threatening and commanding tone.  The sergeant asks the first boy if he sneezed and he denies it.  The sergeant shoots him.  The next boy in line is asked if he sneezed and he replies, "Not since I was 10 years old." The sergeant shoots him.  Each boy has a different answer as to why he didn't sneeze and the sergeant shoots each one until the last boy is reached.  This boy really worried and shaking, admits that he sneezed but pleads to the sergeant not to shoot him. The sergeant says that he isn't going to shoot him but just wanted to say GESUNDHEIT !

Page Revised 03/27/2010