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31. Post Office / King's Royal Paper Version 1 Post Office Clerk, People in line, Person, a few
letters and small boxes, and one wrapped box (Person is last in line, clerk is behind a desk, serving people, box with toilet paper) 1: 5 stamps, please. Clerk: $2.00, please. 2: My mail, please. (Clerk hands it to him.) 3: This to Albuquerque. Clerk takes it. 4: Has my package arrived yet? Clerk: (Checks.) No, I'm sorry Sir. (Next day, same type scenario occurs, with person 4 always last in line, always asking for his package, which hasn't arrived yet. Each day this repeats, his legs become more and more crossed, he's more fidgety, more nervous, more anxious, more desperate, till finally, on the last day he's up again.) 4: (Yelling out) Has my package arrived yet? Clerk: Yes Sir! Here it is! 4: (Relieved, tearing open the box and holding up toilet paper) Thank you! Now I can go to the washroom! Version 2: The King's Royal Paper Essentially the same type of cast plus a guard;
Have servants ham it up when their head is about to be cut off. King: I want my Royal Paper! 1: Here, Sire, The Royal newspaper! King: No! That's not it! Guard, Off with his head! 2: Sire! Your Royal Writing paper! King: Fool! Off with his head! 3: Your Highness! Here is The Royal Scratch Paper! King: (Furious) If I wanted to draw I'd have called for Crayons! Off with his head! 4: Your Grace! Here is the Royal Paper! (Hands him the toilet paper.) King: Thank you! (Runs off to washroom.) 32. 7 Jerks on the Line 2 People on the phone, up to seven Victims, rope
Person 1: I went fishing the other day! 2: Can't hear you! 1: Said I went fishing the other day! 2: Can't hear you! Maybe the phone company needs more telephone poles! (Get a couple of victims to hold the rope up in the middle.) 1: That better? 2: A little! Try again. 1: Went fishing the other day! 2: Really? Is it a good sushi bar? 1: No! I went fishing! Maybe they need more poles! (Get a couple more victims to help hold the rope up.) 1: As I was saying, the spot I was at wasn't great! 2: No, still can't hear you. Did you say you got grapes? 1: Hold on a minute. (Get another couple of poles.) 1: I said that I went fishing and my luck wasn't too good! 2: That's better! Still a little interference, but you say you hit a puck? I think one more pole will help greatly. (Get one more pole.) 2: Perfect! 1: Gee! The phones today. Anyway, I went fishing the other day. 2: Oh? And how did you do? Any bites? 1: Not good. But today, I did get 7 jerks on the line! 33. The Pilfered Warehouse Manager, Guard, 3 Workmen, large cardboard boxes.
Manager: (To new guard) I'm giving you the very responsible position of gate
guard at this factory. Because of the lack of vigilance by your
predecessors, the workers have stolen so many finished articles that the
firm is heading for bankruptcy. Your duty is to ensure this is brought to an
end. Do you Guard: Yes Sir. I am to stop stealing. Manager: That's right. You can search people if necessary. Now it's up to
you, and let's see some Guard: Very good, Sir. (Manager leaves; guard takes post; first workman enters carrying a cloth draped box.) Just a moment. What have you got in that box? #1: What do you mean? Guard: What have you got in that box? It's my duty to see that no one takes stuff out of the factory. #1: Why didn't you say? There's nothing in the box. Look! (He shows everyone the box is empty.) Guard: Oh, well, that's all right then. (#1 leaves and #2 enters, box draped as before. Guard and workman go through routine of looking in the box. Repeat with #3. After #3 has left, the manager races in enraged.) Manager: You idiot! I hired you to stop this pilfering. You've only been here half an hour and already we're losing things! Guard: But the only people who went out were three men with boxes. I stopped them all and they all had nothing in them. Manager: You fool! We make boxes! 34. There's a Bear! Nature Guide, 3-4 Victims (line them up as you get them) Guide: I'm going to bring you through an imaginary trip to follow a bear's
daily activities. First, I need a volunteer (He will be a victim). First,
we'll kneel down, you in front of me. Then I'm going to say, "There's a bear!"
and you're going to respond, "Where?" and I'll point him out. You still won't
see him and repeat, "Where?" and I'll point him out, and then you'll say,
"Ahh. I see him, he's over there!" and point the same Guide: There's a bear! 1: Where? Guide: Over there! 1: Where? Guide: Over there! 1: Ahh. I see him, he's over there! (Continue by introducing the other victims, one at a time and lining them up in front of your previous victim, and repeating the same sketch, but increasing the length as you go through it in a repetitious manner i.e. you point out to #1, then he to #2, then he to #3, then he to #4. Finally,) Guide: Guess what? He fell over! (Push over your victims) 35. Nosebleed Person with nosebleed, 3 Pedestrians, 4th Pedestrian
(Nosebleed person is looking down at the ground. #1 comes in and looks around, then down, and mumbles,) #1: Hmm, what's going down, man? (No answer.) #2 walks in, does the same thing, as does #3. #4 walks in, looks up for a moment, then asks, #4: What are you guys doing? Nosebleed: I don't know what these guys are doing, but I've got a nosebleed!
36. You Don't Say! Person on the phone, Friend
Person: (Phone rings, picks it up.) Hello? Yes? You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say ... You don't say? ... You don't say! ... You don't say. Bye! Friend: Say, who was on the phone? Person: He didn't say! 37. Waiter! Waiter, Customers Customer 1: Waiter! There's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Shh! Everyone else will want one! Same line continues on with other customers about a fly being in alphabet
soup (He's learning to read!) Last Customer: Waiter, did you know that there's a fly in my ice cream, too? Waiter: No! I didn't know they were into winter sports! 38. Why Are You Late? Boss, 4 Workers Boss: Why are you late? #1: (Rushing into work, breathless.) Sorry I'm late, Boss. My car broke down, so I took the bus. But the driver hit a tree, so I had to take a cab. And it broke down, too. Fortunately, I was near a stable so I borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed. I had to jog the rest of the way! (#2 & 3 come in late with exactly the same excuse. The boss becomes a little bit more exasperated each time, until #4 finally comes in, late of course.) Boss: Why are you late? No, wait. Let me guess. Your car broke down, so you took the bus. But the bus driver hit a tree, so you took a cab. And it broke down too. Fortunately, you were near a stable and so you borrowed the horse. But it ran so fast that it had a heart attack and collapsed, so you had to jog the rest of the way, right? #4: No boss, you got it all wrong! The streets were so crowded with broken
down cars, buses and cabs, 39. The New Bike Salesman, Buyer, 4 people to be bicycles, Victim
Salesman: Here, Sir, is our most popular model. It also has an unbelievably low price. Try it. Buyer: OK -- (tries it) -- no, it's not the right size. Salesman: Then try this one. It's got 25 gears and goes really fast. Buyer: No, I don't need that many. Salesman: All right, try this one. Buyer: I don't quite like the colour. Salesman: This one is a great mountain bike; great reports from everyone. Buyer: Hmmm... OK. Hey! I really like this! (All of a sudden the mountain bike collapses-falls down.) Salesman: My, I'm so embarrassed. Are you sure you wouldn't like to purchase one of the other bicycles? They're very good. Buyer: Not really. I really liked this last one. Salesman: Hold on, let me get one of my men from the back. (Get your victim.) Do you think you can fix this bike? (Instructs him to lift up the bike and pull this, tighten that.) Now Sir, try it. Buyer: Hey! This is great! You've just sold this bike! What did your technician do? Salesman: Well, I guess all that was needed was a nut to hold it up! 40. The Operation A shadow show is where you have the bright light behind you and the sheet between you and the audience so that they see the shadows. Your heads can be seen over the top and on the sides, but the action MUST be shadowed on the sheet and be the main attraction. In case you decide not to use the shadow show, no problem. But you need a high table or bench so make it looks "real." Doctor, Nurse, Patient, bright light, white sheet,
frying pan, kitchen knife, large rope and wooden Patient: (Walking into office.) Doctor! Doctor! I need your help. Doctor: (Real whacko.) Oh, good, come here and I'll fix you up good. Nurse, anaesthetize the patient! Patient: But Doctor! (Nurse "hits" him on the head with frypan; he passes out.) (Time to really ham it up; Doctor is real messy in opening up the patient with knife; he "finds" all sorts of things in the belly, each time explaining that this is a good part of the problem. Every once in a while during the action,) Patient: (Wakes up.) But Doctor! Doctor: Nurse! Put him under! (Nurse hits patient with frying pan, restrains, etc.) Finally, the doctor is finished and sews him up. Doctor: (Tapping shoulder of the patient, who wakes up.) Do you feel better now? Patient: But Doctor! I just need to use your phone!! 41. Is a Train Comin' Today? Grandma, Grandpa Grandma: (In old voice) Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the south today? Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the south,
returns, and in an old Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the north today? Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the north, returns.) No, Grandma. Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the east today? Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the east, returns.) No, Grandma. Grandma: Grandpa, is a train Comin' from the west today? Grandpa: (Hobbles over to station, checks the schedule, looks to the west, returns.) No, Grandma. Grandma: Good. We can cross the tracks now. 42. Shut Up! Shut Up, Trouble, Police Officer, Narrator
Narrator: There once were a brother and sister called Shut Up and Trouble. They liked to go on walks together. (SU & T are walking through the woods.) One day, they were walking along in the woods together and Trouble got lost. (T walks off; SU looks around but can't find her.) So Shut Up went to the police station to report a missing person. Police officer: Can I help you? What's your name? Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir. Police Officer: That's a bit impolite. What's your name, boy? Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir. Police Officer: You should watch your manners, boy. What's your name? Shut Up: Shut Up, Sir. Police Officer: Young man, are you looking for trouble? Shut Up: Yes, Sir, she's lost! Do you know where she is? 43. Food, Water & Mirror on the Sahara 2 or 3 People, cup of water, combs, Narrator
Narrator: Here are some poor, thirsty men on the desert who've been stranded on the desert for days. Let's watch. (Two or three people are crawling, calling out for water. Time to really ham it up. Finally, they see the cup of water and stagger for it, reaching out. Finally, they get to the water and,) People: Ahhhh! (Relieved-they take out combs, dip them in water and begin to
comb hair.) 44. You Need a Tie, Sir Person, 3 Tie Salesmen, Maitre d'
Person: (Gasping) Water! I need water! #1: Sir! Would you like to buy a tie? This one would look so good on you! Person: I want water, not a tie! #2: (After a pause) Sir! We're having a tie sale. Would you like to buy a nice tie for a great price? Person: I'm dying of thirst, and you want to sell me a tie? #3: (After a pause) Sir! I have these fine silk ties at reasonable prices.
Would you care to look at my Person: Sheesh! What kind of people sell ties in the middle of the desert to
thirsty people? (After a pause; looks to the distance) An oasis! I'm saved!
(Scrambles over.) Sir! Please! I would like to buy a Maitre d': I'm sorry Sir, but you can't enter this restaurant without a tie.
45. A Hot Meal! Version 1 3 Lost Campers #1: Boy, am I hungry! We haven't eaten in days! #2: Me too. #3: And I would just love a hot meal. #1: (Looking to ground) Wow! A rabbit! Jump it! (#1 & 2 jump it and catch it; they start to eat it.) #2: (Looking back at #3) Would you like some? #3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. #1: Suit yourself. (A little later) #2: Hey! A squirrel! Get it! (#1 & 2 get it and start tearing it apart) #1: (To #3) Would you like a morsel? #3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. (A little later) #1: Wow! A moose! #2: Be very quiet. (#1 & 2 jump it and kill it; they start eating it) #1: Look, there's plenty here, we don't need to keep it all to ourselves, even if we did get this without your help. There's too much to eat anyway. Want any? #3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. #2: Are you sure? You haven't eating anything for even longer than us two. #3: No thanks, I'm waiting for a hot meal. (After a while,) #1: Boy, I'm stuffed. #2: Me too. But I think I'm getting sick. (Throws up.) #1: I'm sick, too. (Throws up.) #3: Wow! A hot meal! Version 2 5 People, Cabby #1: Boy, what a meal. I really gorged myself. #2: Me too. #3: Eating that much makes it hard to walk. Let's get a cab. #4: Agreed. #5: Taxi! (They all get in.) Cabby: Get ready for a good ride, boys. (The cabby pantomimes driving, going along like a race driver, swerving from side to side, up and down hills, does a real roller coaster ride. Sort of like my driving, if you've experienced it. The people swerve left to right with the driver, all hanging on to dear life and lunch, until they all throw up.) Cabby: Wow! A five course meal! 46. Cub Shop 4 Shoppers, Storekeeper, Kid (in underwear, or
nightgown), full uniform #1: I'd like to buy the Cub Shirt. Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't
have it!") (Comes back #2: I'd like to buy the accessories to the Cub Uniform. Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't
have them!") (Comes back #3: I'd like to buy the pants to go with the Cub Uniform. Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't
have them!") (Comes back #4: I'd like to buy the right kind of shoes for the Cub Uniform. Storekeeper: Sure. One moment, please. (You hear the kid struggling with the keeper in the background-"No, you can't
have them!") (Comes back Kid: (Comes running out in underwear/swim suit) How am I supposed to go to
Cubs without my uniform? 47. The Infantry is Coming! 3-4 People, Person carrying a sapling #1: (Runs in) The Infantry is coming! Go to the bomb shelters! #2: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Save yourselves! #3: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's help them! #4: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's watch the tanks! (A moment later) Person: And here it is, the Infant Tree. 48. Keep America Beautiful Contest 6 Cubs or Scouts Cub 1: (Runs in, very excited) Hey, you guys! Did you hear about the big contest? Cub 2: What contest? What's it about? Cub 1: The "Keep America Beautiful Contest," that's what! Cub 3: Are there prizes? A contest is no good without prizes. Cub 1: Sure, lots of prizes. Neat ones like bicycles and radios, and lots of good stuff! Cub 4: (Gloomily) I bet it's hard. Contests with neat prizes are always hard. Cub 1: Nope! It's easy. Even the rules say it's SIMPLE-in big letters. The winner is the one who picks the easiest way. Cub 5: The easiest way to do what? Cub 1: The easiest way to keep America Beautiful. That's what I've been talking about! Cub 6: (With a swagger) Ha! Then I'm a cinch to win! Cub 1: Why's it so cinchy for you? What's your great way to keep America beautiful? Cub 6: (Takes out comb and combs his hair) See! That's the easiest way I know to keep America Beautiful. (The others look at him, then at each other. Quickly they surround him, carry or drag him to a large box marked TRASH, and dump him in.) Cub 1: Like he said, fellahs, we're a cinch to win! That's the easiest way I
know to keep America beautiful. (they exit, laughing while Cub 6 stands up
in the trash box with a disgusted look on his face.) 49. Brain Shop Customer, Shopkeeper Customer: Hi! I'm bored with myself. I'd like to buy a new brain and have an all new personality. Shopkeeper: (In one of those evil, horror movie voices) Ahh, yes. Well, I can sell you this brain from Billy Crystal for $5000. Here. Try it. ("Unscrews" head and plops in pretend brain.) How do you feel? Customer: (In Billy Crystal style voice) Marvelous. I ... feel ... marvelous. But I don't think it's me. Can I try another? Shopkeeper: Okay. Let me see. (Rummages around.) Let's try this one. It's the brain from Captain Kirk. Only $5000. Customer: (In Kirk voice) Scotty ... Can you fix those transporters? No, a bit too famous for me. Shopkeeper: Sure. I'll go out back. (Rummages around in back of store.) Here's one from Ronald Reagan. It only costs $5000. How do you feel? Customer: (In Ronald Reagan style voice) Wellll ... Bonzo, stop that ... I think that this one's still a bit too famous for me. Shopkeeper: Hmmmm. A tough customer. I'll have to go down to the basement. I'll be back. (Customer comments on the kind of brains he has gotten and what kind he'll get next.) Ahhh, here we are. The best in the house, not famous at all. I guarantee you'll love it. Only $15000. (Yes ... $15000.) Customer: (Imitates a leader in the crowd for some notorious act, such as putting up the sign and calling out "PACK!" or admonishing the kids or doing a famous routine or the like.) Hmmm ... this is good. But I recognize it. No, wait ... it's (Insert name of person.) I love it! But tell me ... the brains of those three famous people only cost $5000 apiece. This one, however, comes from a virtually unknown, unimportant person. Why does it cost $15000? Shopkeeper: Well, it's never been used! 50. Pet Shop Customer, Shopkeeper Customer: I'd like to buy a turtle. Shopkeeper: Well, here's one of the only three turtles I have left-they sell real well out here but turtle shipments are few and far between. Customer: Gee, thanks! Just the kind I was looking for, too! (Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is a little distraught.) Customer: Look! He's dead already! How old was he? Shopkeeper: Here, here. Let me see. Hmm. Look, having pets die on customers on the first day they buy them is bad for business, so here's a new one. No charge. Customer: Thank you! That's so gracious of you. (Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is more distraught.) Customer: Are you sure these turtles are okay? This one died on me too! Shopkeeper: Let me see. Hmm. Well, here's the last of my three turtles, and though I won't get another shipment for a while, you can have it for free. Customer: You are the nicest man I know. Thank you so much! (Later, customer comes in with dead turtle and is hysterical and crying.) Customer: What are you trying to do to me? This one died too! Shopkeeper: Let me see this. This is bugging me too. Say. They all have scratches on the shells. Why? What were you doing with them? Customer: (Sniffing) Well, I was only trying to give my car a turtle wax!
51. What's 2+2? Captain, three or four Pirates
Captain: First Mate! What's 2+2? 1st Mate: Duh! One, Sir! Captain: Good! Bosun! What's 2+2? Bosun: Uhh ... let's see ... (Counts on fingers) Uhh ... Five, Sir! Captain: No problem! Gunner! What's 2+2? Gunner: Sheesh, Captain! Why give me all the hard ones? Captain: Great! Cook! What's 2+2? Cook: Let's see. Two apples and two potatoes makes ... (Thinks) Two apples and two potatoes, Sir! Captain: Pleased to hear it! You! Floor Scrubber! What's 2+2? Scrubber: Four, Sir! Captain: Off with his head! (Cuts off head with sword.) Servant: Beggin' the Captain's pardon, Sir! I think everyone else got it wrong, but the floor scrubber got it right. Why did you kill him? Captain: He's too smart! He might go after my job some day! 52. The Ghost of Midnight Ghost, Family asleep in house
Ghost: (Going up to Mom, wakes her up-uses scary ghost voice.) I am the Ghost of Midnight! Mom: Ahhh! Ghost: (To Dad-same thing.) I am the Ghost of Midnight! Dad: I'm getting out of here! Ghost: (To son.) I am the Ghost of Midnight! Son: Help! Mommy! Ghost: (To daughter.) I am the Ghost of Midnight! Daughter: (Looks at watch.) Aww, shutup! It's only 11:45! 53. What's the Problem? Leader, three or four Kids, Campfire Chief (in
campfire blanket) Swasin: (Crying on stage) Kid 1: (Sees leader; goes to him.) Swasin! What's the problem? Swasin: (Whispers in kid's ear.) #1 begins to cry too. #2: Hey! What's the problem? #1 whispers in #2's ear, and he starts crying too. Continue with #3 and #4. (Finally, Campfire Chief comes around.) Chief: Hi! I've come around to collect skit names for the campfire tonight! Hey! What's the problem? All: We don't have a skit! 54. The Babies & Dads Doctor, three Dads Doctor: Mr. Thompson, congratulations. You're the proud father of twins! Thompson: What a coincidence-I come from Two Mountains! (Later,) Doctor: Mr. Smith, you now have triplets! Smith: That's quite astonishing! I come from Three Rivers! Third father faints; doctor revives him. Doctor: Mr. Smart-what's wrong? Your wife hasn't even given birth yet! Smart: I come from Thousand Islands! 55. Ghost With One Black Eye Ghost, 3 Pedestrians #1: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A loony! Ghost: (Comes out; scary voice.) I am the Ghost with one black eye! (#1 scared; drops loony; runs away) #2: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! A dollar! Ghost: (comes out) I am the Ghost with one black eye! (#2 scared; drops loony; runs away) #3: (Bends over; picks up coin.) Wow! Money! Ghost: (Comes out.) I am the Ghost with one black eye! #3: Keep it up, and you'll get another! 56. Bus Driver Several Passengers, Bus Driver, "Stinky"
Bus driver drives the bus along the route, and at each stop, more and more people get off the bus, holding their noses, telling the driver to hurry up, pushing against each other, running off the bus, until finally only Stinky and the Driver are left on the bus. Driver: (Talking to Stinky) Hey! All my passengers left. You know anything about it? (Smells something awful.) Hmm. Something smells-it must be you. Did you wash this morning? Stinky: Yes. Driver: Hmm. Deoderant? Stinky: Yes. Driver: Hmm. Clean shirt? Stinky: Yes. Driver: Clean underwear? Stinky: Yes. Driver: Change your socks? Stinky: Sure! Here are the old ones! 57. The Screwy Navel Story Teller, Boy, several characters such as Mom,
Dad, Bro, Sis, Drunk, Repairman, Priest, Teller: There once was a little boy who had a screw instead of a belly button, and was always curious about it. Finally one day he asks his Mom, Boy: Mommy, why do I have a screw instead of a belly button like everyone else? Mom: (Brushing him away,) I don't have time right now. Ask your father. Teller: The boy goes to his father and asks him the same question. (He asks; gets the same type of answer ("Paying the bills.") He goes around to several people in the town to whom he is referred by the last person, but always getting the same type of answer. Finally, he goes to the priest.) Boy: Father, why do I have a screw instead of a belly button like everyone else? Priest: My son, only God knows of such things. You should pray and ask him. Boy: Thank you, Father. (Begins praying.) God, why do I have a screw instead of a belly button like everyone else? Teller: All of a sudden, a big hand appears with a large screwdriver, connects with his screw, and turns. All of a sudden the boy falls down and hears, God: The screw is there to hold you together! 58. The Shrimpy Boxer Version 1 Announcer, big boxer, 72 pound weakling, frypan Announcer: Ladies and Gents! May I bring your attention to the center ring where we will have our main attraction! Little John will be fighting against a new contender, named Shrimpy! 1-2-3 Go! (They box-Shrimpy gets hit this way, that way, is really losing until at the last moment, he throws one weak punch and Little John falls unconscious.) Announcer: 1! 2! 3! Shrimpy wins! Now let's look at that in slow motion! (Boxers get up, and the scene repeats itself slowly in slow motion, and when Shrimpy is throwing his punch, someone quickly-and I mean unaffected by slow motion-runs up and swings the fry pan against Little John's head.) Version 2 Similar to the above, but it never gets to the fight. The Announcer is explaining the rules and says "We'll have none of this!" (kicks Little John in the groin) "Or this!" (breaks arm over his knee) "Or this!" (kicks in the knees) "And of course this! is prohibited!" (hits over the head with the frypan) "Understood? Good! Go!" (And of course one weak punch from Shrimpy knocks him out.) 59. Doggie Doo Two friends, doggie doo (Two friends are walking along the street, perhaps having a conversation about something, talking about a movie or the latest hockey scores, when all of a sudden-) John: Hey Frank! Watch out! That may be doggie doo! Smell it to see if it smells like doggie doo! Frank: (Smells it) Yep! Smells like doggie doo! John: Touch it to see if it feels like doggie doo! Frank: (Touches it) Yep! Feels like doggie doo! John: Taste it to see if it tastes like doggie doo! Frank: (Tastes it) Yep! Tastes like doggie doo! John: Well! It's a good thing we didn't walk in it! 60. The Complaining Monk Monk, Abbot, narrator Narrator: This skit is about the monks in a monastery who are only allowed to speak two words every ten years. Our friendly monk is about to come in and say his two words, after ten long years of silence. Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say? Monk: Bad food! Narrator: Well, ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He of course is not quite as young as he used to be, and walks a touch more slowly. Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say? Monk: Uncomfortable bed! Narrator: Well, yet another ten years have gone by, and of course our friendly monk's time has come again to say his two words. He is really old at this point, having been at the monastery for thirty, long, devoted years. Abbot: (Chants some blessing, then,) Yes, my son, what do you wish to say? Monk: I quit! Abbot: I'm not surprised! You've been here for thirty years and all you've
done is complain! |
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